Finding Purpose in Pain: Turning Grief Into Action

Finding Purpose in Pain: Turning Grief Into Action

*Posted by Gracie | Grief, Grace, and Growing Up*

Losing our daughter, Halleigh May, changed everything.

Stillbirth isn’t something you ever think will be part of your story—especially when you’re 18 and full of dreams about what life as young parents would be like. Gavin and I had talked about everything from baby clothes to bedtime routines. We were planning a life. We were planning *her* life. And then, in a heartbeat, all of that changed.

In the days after losing her, we were surrounded by silence. The silence in her nursery. The silence of people not knowing what to say. The silence inside us when the weight of her absence became too much.

But through that silence, something started to grow: a sense of purpose. Not all at once—sometimes it still comes and goes—but we’ve slowly started finding ways to take this pain and build something with it.

For me, that means pursuing something I’ve dreamed about: starting hair school. Some days I wake up excited and hopeful. Other days I wake up heavy and numb. Sometimes I do impulsive things—like wanting to completely change how I look—almost like if I change enough about myself, maybe I can change the outcome. But the truth is, no change on the outside can fix the hole in my heart. So I try to let those feelings be fuel instead. I tell myself that every head of hair I work on someday, every person who sits in my salon chair, will carry a little piece of Halleigh’s legacy with them. She’ll be part of every story I hear, every transformation I help create.

For Gavin, it’s been about building—literally. He’s been pouring himself into growing his mobile welding business. He works hard. Really hard. And I know that underneath that drive is grief, too. But instead of letting it crush him, he’s using it to push forward. To build a life Halleigh would be proud of. To create stability and strength out of something that tried to break us.

This—what we’re doing right now—is how we’re turning pain into purpose. Not perfectly. Not easily. But with intention.

We started *Grief, Grace, and Growing Up* because we want Halleigh’s name to live on. Because grief needs a voice, and because love doesn’t end when life does. And maybe most of all, because we’re growing—not just older, but stronger, more grounded, and more sure of who we want to become. Her parents. Her legacy.

So no, we don’t have it all figured out. Some days we feel like we’re barely keeping it together. But we keep going. We keep loving. And we keep building something beautiful—because she’s worth it.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for seeing her. And thank you for walking with us through grief, grace, and growing up.

With love,

Gracie (and Gavin)